MARRIED At First Sight has been rocked by a texting scandal - with screenshots revealing the flirtatious exchange between two contestants who have organised a secret meeting behind their spouses' backs.
Liberal use of the fist emoji features in the scandalous messages but it's unclear at this time if its use means the same thing it does on Grindr.
On Monday night, all the couples are forced to live together inside an apartment complex even though there are at least three guys who don't even want to be in this experiment anymore.
After blindsiding Tracey at Sunday night's commitment ceremony, Dean's scared and doesn't want to let her up into the apartment. So she buzzes again, claims to be a Deliveroo cyclist over the intercom and scurries up the escalator to knock on his door.
As Tracey starts hysterically crying and throwing around the graphic details of their overactive sex life again, Dean says what he has to in order to get out of this mess.
"I'm really sorry. If I had a do-over right now, I'd write 'stay'," he lies.
He says it would be best if they didn't sleep with each other for a few days.
*15 minutes later*
As both of them try to hide their sex-hair, Dean tells Tracey people in her hometown of Perth have actually been doing relationships wrong.
"Relationships are different in Perth and Sydney," he explains, adding that, in Sydney, everyone cheats.
Tracey's eyes widen. She can't believe she's spent her whole life doing relationships wrong. Perth is so far away and isolated. She feels like an idiot and thanks Dean for finally enlightening her.
"I'm ... I'm not from Sydney," she stutters innocently. "Until you explained that to me I honestly had no idea."
I also feel like an idiot. I live in Sydney and relationships for me have always involved telling the other person I'm at work when really I'm at home eating pizza off my chest while singing to myself. I may as well be from Perth.
We can't stand Tracey anymore so we duck across the hall to see the drama unfold at Jo and Sean's place.
Despite Sean telling everyone at the commitment ceremony he will never be interested in Jo, she's still convinced she can turn this ship around and attempts to make amends after she lashed out.
"I want to apologise to you wholeheartedly for calling you a douchebag," she tells Sean. I'll admit, I've had to make the same word-for-word apology to past boyfriends and some colleagues.
They then flout the rules of this competition and move into two separate apartments and it really takes the fun out of it.
I get so frustrated I storm out and catch the elevator up to Davina and Ryan's apartment. Things are super weird. Davina's really distracted and her phone keeps beeping and she keeps ignoring us while she texts.
I've had enough so I storm back into Tracey and Dean's apartment and hope they're not in the middle of angry post-fight sex. Dean's also acting weird so I hide in a pot plant and watch him madly texting.
"Davina just txted me," he volunteers. "If there was anyone else in the experiment who I'd be into it would be Davina."
He then says Davina's hot but also not really.
"When she's dressed really nice she looks really good ... other times I'm not so sure how hot she is," he says. One day I hope to find a guy who will give me this kind of backhanded compliment.
Downstairs, Ashley is replicating every relationship I've ever had.
"I hate when you do that," she says bluntly to Troy.
And, back down the hall, Jo lies in bed and whispers: "Waking up alone has been soul-crushing." I say the same thing to myself each morning as I look in the mirror and brush my teeth.
Jo's not chortling the way she once did. She's so glum and depressed we can actually hear the blips of text messages going off in the apartment next door.
"What's that annoying beeping sound?" we ask, pressing our ears against the wall.
Jo says it's been going off all night and then she starts crying and revealing her feelings but we really want to get to the bottom of these text messages so we lie and say we're going out to get her coffee but then we just whirl on over to Davina's apartment.
We bust in and catch her furiously texting. She looks embarrassed. Mainly because of the silly train conductor hat she's wearing but also because she's emotionally cheating on her husband Ryan.
It doesn't take long for her to confess everything.
"It would be very interesting if I was the type of girl Dean's looking for ... So I sent him a message saying, 'Look, I really wouldn't mind picking your brains'," she explains. I advise her to use protection if she does eventually pick Dean's brains.
While Ryan cooks us a meal in the kitchen just meters away, Davina's phone beeps again.
We confiscate it and demand to know her password so we can read the messages. We find out Davina and Dean have planned a secret meeting for Wednesday - behind their partners' backs. And for some reason, Davina has sent a series of fist emojis.
She promptly scales it back.
At first I'm shocked and appalled. But I like drama and I'd also like to date Ryan so I proceed to facilitate the affair by jumping in on the group chat.
For more observations about eating pizza off your chest and picking boys' brains, follow me on Twitter: @hellojamesweir
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