Girl shares heartache of dad's suicide

REBECCA from Gladstone poured her heart out in an emotional post on Facebook page, It's okay, not to be okay.

This is her heartwrenching story. 

My name is Rebecca, I am 18 years old and I am from Gladstone, Queensland, I am forever broken.

On Sunday, June 25, 2012, part of me died along with my father, Steven.

On that day my world was turned upside down forever. It was only two days ago my Mum was in hospital for an overdose.

What else did God think I could possibly handle this young?

I was so lucky to sit there the day before and spend the day taking silly photos with my dad, watching movies.

I was so lucky because he had promised me he would walk up to the bus stop with me when school returned in two weeks time to talk to the bus driver.

I was so god damn lucky to know he was going to be here for a long time.

My dad seemed normal on the Saturday night, everything was good, my three older brothers and my dad and I went and visited my mum, had dinner and sat around watching movies. Dad kissed us goodnight and told us he loved us, and then went to bed. My brothers and I all went to our rooms and fell asleep.

All of a sudden my oldest brother Peter ran in and he was crying and yelling "Becky, wake up call the ambulance it's dad".

HEARTBREAK: Rebecca says she will be
HEARTBREAK: Rebecca says she will be "forever broken" after her dad took his life. Thinkstock

So I walked into the room where my brothers were and there was Peter and my two other brothers rolling him onto his side while he was throwing up, I didn't know what to do, I was in shock. I thought everything was okay? How could he promise me he was going to be here and then do this?

The ambulance and the police came, they tried everything but it was too late, there was nothing they could do, there was nothing anyone could do.

The next morning my mum came home from the hospital. My mum insisted we should all say our goodbyes and she wanted to say her goodbye; the police also wanted her to go to the morgue to confirm it was him as she wasn't there.

All I can remember is seeing my dad lying there in the morgue lifeless, I remember hearing my brothers crying, screaming to my mum, "he's cold, he's cold, he shouldn't be here". No, he shouldn't be.

My Dad was 50 years old.

He had his own business he loved, which was hard maintenance.

He had many brothers and sisters, a twin brother with down syndrome who loved him.

My dad had three older boys that adored him, and me, his daughter that adored him.

My dad was and still is my king.

My dad was always happy.

Or so it seemed like that.

There was no warning signs, no note, nothing.

I know I will meet him again sometime soon, but now, is not my time.

If you need help or assistance, phone one of the following numbers:

Lifeline 13 11 14

Headspace 1800 650 890

Beyondblue 1300 224 636

Suicide call back service 1300 659 467

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